I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
organizing the empties. That sober.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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