Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize