help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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