i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
