come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
