check it out our google latitudes are spooning
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
