but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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