the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
