Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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