I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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