I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there is glitter all over my balls
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