Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
