I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
