I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
