..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
