How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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