So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
