How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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