Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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