Walk of Shame. In a state park.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
