Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
