whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize