I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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