We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
