If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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