Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
