I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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