sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
