i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
