You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
