My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
