i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
