dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
