He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize