i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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