So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes