He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.