Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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  (712): I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well. http://tfl.nu/yae3
  Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (821)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2475) Bad night (1318)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1751) Bad night (2552)
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  (626): View more from California

  Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.

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  (626): Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong. http://tfl.nu/y718
  Replies (38) Good night (3228) Bad night (625)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

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  (303): He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed http://tfl.nu/muwj
  Replies (21) Good night (5156) Bad night (972)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
  Replies (38) Good night (7676) Bad night (1368)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (995) Bad night (2379)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.

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  (214): I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/p7x9
  Replies (6) Good night (2409) Bad night (654)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...

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  (616): I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"... http://tfl.nu/nha2
  Replies (18) Good night (1160) Bad night (6493)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?

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  (610): At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again? http://tfl.nu/9wdz
  Replies (10) Good night (3443) Bad night (892)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me

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  (623): Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice. (1-623): That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me http://tfl.nu/ei2r
  Replies (8) Good night (2802) Bad night (707)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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  (616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds http://tfl.nu/472x
  Replies (9) Good night (1277) Bad night (594)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (607)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

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  (410): I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises http://tfl.nu/f0t9
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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  (407): What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats. http://tfl.nu/w4l0
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (468)

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