Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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