Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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  (847): Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one. http://tfl.nu/00mh
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (1929)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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  (936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card? http://tfl.nu/bsy4
  Replies (78) Good night (5372) Bad night (820)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
  Replies (40) Good night (4091) Bad night (605)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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  (703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t
  Replies (17) Good night (916) Bad night (3874)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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  (815): just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home. http://tfl.nu/6d9n
  Replies (14) Good night (542) Bad night (6710)
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  (914): View more from New York

  woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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  (914): woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again http://tfl.nu/hmop
  Replies (9) Good night (4170) Bad night (587)
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  (916): View more from California

  The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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  (916): The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/34a1
  Replies (27) Good night (6046) Bad night (1272)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...

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  (781): I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing... http://tfl.nu/jqiv
  Replies (6) Good night (2481) Bad night (1089)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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  (773): Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/vvjh
  Replies (11) Good night (1435) Bad night (964)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday

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  (727): just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday http://tfl.nu/w3i7
  Replies (8) Good night (2123) Bad night (1149)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I left it in that guy's dorm room.

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  (613): come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?! (902): I left it in that guy's dorm room. http://tfl.nu/1k29
  Replies (4) Good night (1630) Bad night (591)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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  (315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (852)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?

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  (402): Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight? http://tfl.nu/u33p
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (347)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?

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  (208): My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here? http://tfl.nu/5xbh
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (788)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

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  (504): Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh? http://tfl.nu/qv7w
  Replies (4) Good night (387) Bad night (715)

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