Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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