I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
