I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I am morally bankrupt
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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