So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Mom said you looked used
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
