I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
