I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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