Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
