I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
