don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
