I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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