try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
