last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
