Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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