I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
