To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's blow job season.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
