let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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