i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
