Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
