whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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