My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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