so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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