we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
