Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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