So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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