why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bet he comes in French.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
