Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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