dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
