you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
