...so i touched it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
