their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have aggressive nipples.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
